Originally developed for Philadelphia Dramatists Center and Plays and Players’ first script bake-off in 20xx, this play went on to win the Mmmm...Brains Festival, where it received a public reading. It premiered at the 20xx Vignettes for the Apocalypse Festival, produced by  Endtimes Productions in New York City. It was directed by Judy Merrick and starred Ashley Bloom and Cara Moretto.


    Alice is preparing a chicken salad sandwich. After a moment of silent food                           

    prep, Mindy enters clutching a giant bag. It is printed with a large 

    government stamp reading “Contaminated Remains. Burn.”


MINDY Alice?

ALICE Don’t.

MINDY Alice, I-

ALICE I don't want to hear it.

MINDY I had to.

ALICE It doesn't involve-

MINDY Alice.

ALICE Mindy, I-

    Alice accidentily cuts herself.

Fucker. Ow. Fucker.


    Alice notices Mindy, the bag, everything for the first time.   

MINDY We should get that cleaned and bandaged before-

ALICE The fuck is that?

MINDY Are you okay?

ALICE The fuck are you bringing a-

MINDY You're cut.

ALICE Mindy. Focus. Bag.


ALICE The burn bag. The. Fucking- The kitchen? The Bag, Mindy. The full- It’s full and you bring it into the kitchen?

MINDY I can't just leave him for them to-

ALICE What are you, seven? [Is this the] First time you shot someone?

MINDY No, but-

ALICE Then stop acting like it's a major disaster and curb it and call the clean up crew.

MINDY It was my fault, Alice. He was- He -a bird- he found it. And-

ALICE Fine. Whatever. Just. [Can you put it in] The mud room, okay? [Just put it in] The mud room.

MINDY Alice he-

ALICE For me. Do it for me.

MINDY I- ... Okay, for you.

    Mindy wanders off into the mud Alice wraps her finger.

ALICE (aside)

MINDY Finally get up the nerve to make a real goddamned meal with meat again -real food- and you run in here with-

    Mindy reenters without the bag. Her clothes are smeared, but not covered,

    with blood. Alice assesses her.

MINDY ...I'm sorry.

ALICE What did you do?

MINDY I’m...

ALICE Yeah, you’re sorry, you're sorry, I get it, the whole fucking world’s sorry.


What the fuck were you thinking?


ALICE Look at yourself.


ALICE [I] Should call in a clean up crew to deal with all the blood on you.


Alice begins to prep herself to clean up her sister, gloves, cleaning supplies, another burn bag, and the like.


ALICE Those are. The regulations. Aren't they?

MINDY Alice?

ALICE Let's just get you cleaned up.

    Alice begins to undress Mindy, who remains somewhat comatose.

ALICE You act like I’m sadistic enough to do that to you.


I’m not.

MINDY I know.

ALICE Just see how much soaked through.

     Finally, Alice gets her sister down to her bra and underwear, and

     meticulously wipes off every spot of blood from her body without spreading        

     it any further. She looks for knicks or scratches. Throughout this process,        

     even with her finger bandaged and gloved, Alice keeps it away from Mindy.    

     This takes some time.

ALICE Jesus you did a number.

MINDY I’m so- [sorry]

ALICE Mindy.

    Alice stops working. They stare at each other.



    Alice returns to work.

ALICE Hear about the Russell boy? They cut off both of his hands, one at the elbow. Not shocking, but- He was playing in the mud. Someone saw him, reported it. And. You know, some potentially infected bird shit in the mud and- Dumb little [bastard].


It's these fucking birds. Don't give a fuck about anything. If you ask me we should make shooting them down a national past time, blow them right outta the goddamned sky. past

MINDY Are they. Worried it’ll get into the water supply? Lots of people have switched to well water from what I heard, that's what they've said on broadcast. They could- It could be another outbreak, potential epi-


MINDY You don't like it when I talk. Like that.

ALICE The inconsistent pricks. Say it’s too small of a trace to-

MINDY But you think-



ALICE Ran into the mother down at the market the other day. That’s how I found out. I mean I’d heard, but. Seeing her... She looked like death, everyone keeping away from her. And. You know me. I had to ask. Poor little thing broke down right there in the synth-fruits. Had to pick her up off the floor.



    Mindy sees the blood covered rag, how much was on her.



    Alice looks at her sister.

ALICE Fuck it.


ALICE Nothing on the bra or underwear?

    Mindy does a once over as Alice packs anything that may have even remotely

    touched blood into the burn bag, then she seals it well

MINDY I don’t think so. You sure? Yeah. We can’t have you traipsing around in bloody-

MINDY I’m sure.

ALICE Small miracles. Don’t know where we’d get you another pair.

    The work is finished.

ALICE Okay. Hard shower. Think we've got enough steel wool to do it. I know we've got the powder clorox.


ALICE I'm not the dumbass who-

MINDY I saw him with the bird, it could've been infected.

ALICE And then you-

MINDY I. Had to.

ALICE Had to scoop it up. By hand. Had to rub it all over you like a goddamned bar of soap? No, you didn't. Hard shower, now. Or I call a crew.


A crew. Do you want that?



MINDY I had to shoot him.


MINDY Why do you think-

ALICE You did the right thing.



    Alice begins to wash her hands. This is the same elaborate process as

    before, it takes an insane amount of time.

MINDY I shouldn't've let him out of my-



I would’ve done the same thing.

MINDY It was just-

ALICE I know.



MINDY I just...

ALICE Mindy.

MINDY I. I. I just-

ALICE Mindy, I know.